28 September 2011

"Are you being existential crisis-y?"

A friend asked me this question today. And the answer was yes. It usually is. I swear I think more about random things than most people.

Take this example -- last spring my computer charger stopped working and thus, my computer died and I was unable to use my laptop. I know, heaven forbid I actually had to walk to computer lab to check my email and such! But anyway, I was very distraught by not having my Macbook. And then late one night, my computerless brain got to thinking. Thinking about how distraught I was. And then I became upset about the fact that I was so upset. I was concerned by my apparent need to be connected to the Internet at all times. So that's one example.

I often wonder why I'm here. What I'm doing with my life. How much power I truly have over this one life I've been given. So in my existential crisis-y state, here's what I've found helps. I try to think of things that I can work on. Self-improvement if you will. Here's what I'm thinking about today:

1. Talk more. (This generally applies to my classes, but could probably benefit my life in general as well).
2. Stop pushing people away. Or stop keeping them at an arms length.
3. Let go of that perfectionism that eats away at me. Easier said than done, but I'm getting there.
4. Take more reading breaks. It's okay to watch horribly awful TV shows on Hulu and Netflix to give my brain a rest.
5. Pray more/spend more time in Scripture. That one's pretty self explanatory, but it helps tremendously in so many ways.
6. Eat outside more. I work in a library with no windows. I need fresh air or I will have Seasonal Affective Disorder before winter.

Six is a weird number to stop on, but that's all I've got.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you've been learning many good things. Hope things in Indiana go well for you! Continue to seek God's grace and the wisdom that He gives. Let me know if there is anything I can be praying about for you.